the computer I can't fix  

Can’t connect to Apple App Store on a mac with a third-party wi-fi adapter.

The backstory of this, which I wrote from the mobile app while completely perplexed is that: a MacBook Air (at least a Mid-2010 Air) which has Thunderbolt, USB, Bluetooth, and Wifi cannot function in the modern world if something goes awry with the Wifi connection.

And here’s why: the Apple App Store seems to have a security precaution that (a) prevents intrusions and (b) limits hackintosh machines. Both, probably. The primary `en0` network interface has to be Ethernet.

If the official Airport connection flakes out, you can’t sign into the App Store. Nor can you finish the Mountain Lion install. With Mavericks, at least, it seems that you can get vital system updates in the App Store without signing in by hitting OK a bunch of times to all of the sign in errors. Eventually, you can get to the System patches.

But the crazy here is that the machine I’m trying to repair has what seems to be a functional Bluetooth/Airport card. I even replaced it with another one. No dice. It’s possible a cable is busted, somewhere, but since the card itself connects via a little gold slot on the board, and not by a cable, it’s hard to see how that could happen. Maybe the antenna is dead, but

The key search terms so far are:

  • “Wifi: No hardware detected”
  • one with the message from App Store
  • somethings about editing en0
  • somethigns about “bad wifi macbook”

So far, in no particular order, I have:

  • been to the Apple Store (twice)
  • edited /Library/Preferences/com.apple.Boot.plist
  • removed all network interfaces and locations in Network.prefs
  • reinstalled Mountain Lion
  • reinstalled Mavericks
  • bought an EDIMAX USB wifi adapter
  • bought an Apple USB-Ethernet adapter
  • deleted /Library/Preferences/SystemConfiguration/
  • edited /Library/Preferences/SystemConfiguration/NetworkInterfaces.plist to swap en0 and en1
  • run Apple Hardware test (reboot with Option-D)
  • run in Recovery mode (reboot with Option-R, I think)
  • replaced the Airport/Bluetooth card
  • detached and re-attached the Aiport and Bluetooth antennae
  • tried a Thunderbolt/Ethernet adapter (which is default en0)

I have not yet:

  • been to the Apple Store a third time
  • Waited for mercury retrograde to end

The kicker of all this: it’s a machine we thought had AppleCare, but turns out forgot to get. Solution: don’t forget to get AppleCare.

UPDATE: For a modest repair fee, Apple replaced the logic board and iFixit accepted a return of the wireless card. I’m going to warn iFixit it to test the board before they credit me, lest the faulty logic board did any damage. End result: working computer.